Situationship story:
Everything Said We Were Dating. Except Him.
💌 The Soulinxué Confessional #002
He Let Me Play the Part. He Never Gave Me the Role.
Relationship Stage: Situationship? Dating? Honestly… I don’t know anymore.
💭 The Confession
I’ve been seeing this guy for about seven months.
We met through mutual friends at a braai, and from the beginning it just felt effortless.
He sleeps over at my place at least three nights a week. My toothbrush is at his apartment. His hoodie somehow became my uniform. His friends call me “the wife.” Even his niece asked if I am coming to her Birthday.
So naturally… I thought we were together.
Last weekend my cousin saw him at Montecasino. Apparently someone asked if he had a girlfriend.
He laughed and said,
“Nah, I’m just chilling.”
Just chilling?
My Guy,
You have Wi Fi at my house.
Last month you asked me to fetch your Takealot order when you worked late. You use my Woolies card for discounts. My Netflix profile literally says “Babe.”
So on Sunday I finally asked him,
“What are we?”
He looked genuinely confused and said,
“I thought we were just seeing where things go.”
I laughed.
Not because it was funny.
Because if I didn’t laugh, I was going to cry.
Now I’m sitting here wondering…
Did I imagine an entire relationship?
Or did he enjoy all the benefits of having a girlfriend without ever becoming a boyfriend?
❤️ The Soulinxué DECODE
Compatibility
7/10
There’s genuine connection here, but compatibility isn’t only about enjoying each other’s company. It’s also about wanting the same things at the same time.
Communication
4/10
This relationship has been running on assumptions instead of conversations. Sometimes the hardest conversation is the one that gives us the clarity we’ve been avoiding.
Emotional Safety
6/10
You don’t sound unsafe. You sound uncertain. Living in the “what are we?” stage for too long can slowly chip away at your confidence, even if nobody intended to hurt you.
Growth Potential
8/10
This doesn’t have to be the end. Honest conversations have a funny way of either bringing two people closer or showing them they’re walking different paths. Either outcome is better than standing still.
Overall Relationship Score
6.5 / 10
❤️ If You Were My Sister…
Girl, it’s okay if he just wants to take things lightly and see where he lands. That’s his own personal journey of self discovery and the truth is, no one should be pressured through that.
However, you seem like you’re at a different place in your journey and tiptoeing around someone else’s needs shouldn’t take that away from you either.
I think a real conversation about what you both need right now is so valid. From there you’ll know where you stand either way. I think what’s messing you up most is not knowing.
I know the fear of the confrontation and potentially losing it is scary, but you may be surprised by how he steps up. The boundaries of a high value woman can be incredibly attractive to the right man. And if he’s not, then it was never yours to lose.
Time doesn’t need to be wasted unless you’re choosing to stay where you’ve already outgrown.
🖤 A Truth You Might Not Want to Hear
He may not be ready to give you what you want.
But he could also be holding you back from someone who is.
❤️ Have a Story of Your Own?
Every heart is made of a thousand pieces. Each one holds a story.
Yours might be the one that helps someone else feel a little less alone.
Share your story anonymously through The Soulinxué Confessional.
💬 Join the Conversation
At what point do two people become exclusive?
Is it after the conversation?
Or after the actions?
Share your thoughts in the comments below.